Sunday, January 2, 2011
Anger
I am weary of anger. The anger boiling in my dad when he calls me a brat, though I am doing his dishes. The anger in my sister as she calls me a jerk (as she often does), though I put up my best effort to be nice to her. The anger I feel at my sister as I snap at her. It often seems that anger governs our lives, rather than people. I get home from school often times only to be told I have an F or a D on my progress report and that I am not trying my best, when in reality I am trying the best of my best, and not all teachers prefer their students. People often treat me like I have the intelligence of an infant when they first meet me, but as they get to know me they realize I am very intelligent. By that time, however, they have grown used to their original treatment of me and do not even attempt to change their ways. This is another thing that angers me. I have been doing very well lately at controlling this anger inside of me, but nobody notices the muscles in my arms and neck coiling as I struggle not to punch something, and they continue their angering assault on my feelings. I would just like to know, what am I supposed to do if no one will listen without doing more than just let my get out my anger.
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ReplyDeleteWhen teenagers can't manage their anger, violence can become a way of channeling that anger. This article gives biblical ways to tame anger.
ReplyDeletehttp://youth-ministry.info/articles.php5?type=2&cat=190&art_id=56
you can copy and paste the address into your browsers ISP address box.
A good thing to remember when expressing anger is the following:
I am angry/sad/depressed/hurt. I feel this way because___________. I don't like it when__________happens because it makes me feel__________ way. You can practice this with someone who knows what they are helping you do do, yourself in the mirror or even a stuffed animal. Maybe a dog would sit and listen. Always speak in a calm voice to express yourself and people are more likely to listen. Also, if you keep the volume of your voice down then others have to be quieter to be able to listen.
Remember that Jesus is always there and you can ask him for help. He still hears you if you just think it to him. He always knows what we are thinking and feeling and is just waiting for you to ask him for help. He is polite and won't just budge in and take over!
Also remember that your family and friends may not know how to express anger properly either so a little bit of Patience goes a long way!
I've been trying to formulate something comforting to tell you that doesn't sound patronizing. I'm afraid I'm falling short. What I can tell you is that much of the anger you feel right now has a lot to do with your age and what's happening as you grow. I know you've probably heard these things before and it doesn't make it any easier. I was the youngest with 2 older sisters and a brother(he died when I was 11, car accident). So I kind of get the whole older sister thing, I had 2 of them to abuse me. What I can tell you from that is that now that we've grown, we're closer than ever and what was anger and spite has been replaced with loving teasing and respect. But I'm pretty sure my parents thought one of us would commit murder first.
ReplyDeleteTeachers and grades are a tougher one, but it sounds like you need some help from someone outside of your family to get some tutoring from.
One thing that helps anger and frustration is to get outside of yourself. By that I mean work on helping other people with their issues. I've never helped myself more than when I was helping someone else. I'm working with several people right now. Some do better, some do worse. I don't take credit for the ones who do better and I don't get down on myself for the ones who do worse because I can only do so much before they will start dragging me down to their level of misery. Eventually they have to stand up on their own 2 feet.
I don't know if this helps at all, I pray it does. Reading Psalms helps me sometimes when I'm getting down, too. It's a collection of poetry written by several people over a period of 1000 years. It's been translated from its original language, of course, so sometimes it doesn't flow like we think of poetry, but if you put it into it's time frame some 3,000 or more years ago, you can feel the ebb and flow of the words.